It's been a good few days. My parents were in town because my mom was taking a course to recertify as a lactation consultant...you heard me. I've totally got the hookup when it comes to birthing or breastfeeding issues. Pretty handy.
Anyway, I had to get up at 4 a.m. to take my mom to the airport because she flew out to be there with my brother during his surgery. He had a big ol' tumor wrapped up nerves on his lumbar spine. My mom recently called to tell me that the tumor is BENIGN! Thank God! Now we're just praying the doctors will put him back together and he'll be able to walk and all his other functions associated with that region of his spinal column will be able to function. So far we've had only good news so hopefully it will remain so.
On another note, I was surprised how easy it was to get up at 4 a.m. this morning. It seems that for the past few weeks not even 8 or 9 hours of sleep are enough. And I tell you, I am a girl that needs my sleep. I can see you readers now, shaking your heads saying, "Just wait! You're about to have a baby, Katie! Get use to no sleep." And it's not like I don't know that's true. In fact, it's my major worry about having the baby.
My friend, Beth, recently asked me if I was nervous about this impending job of being a parent. I didn't really feel like it then, I guess I feel it moreso now. But when I think about the sleep issue, I worry. People keep telling me, "you'll get use to", "you'll be great", etc. But still...I worry. I worry that I'll be grumpy and mad at the baby for keeping me up. My mom laughed at it when I said that I was so afraid of being sleep deprived and the effect it would have on me and then cited stories of mothers whose babies were injured or died from Shaken Baby Syndrome. In my heart of hearts, I don't think I could be capable of that...but probably those other mothers didn't either. I'm probably freaking some of you out. But maybe the best way to prevent horrible things is to be honest about your fears regarding them.
In the end, I hope I am a good mom. I hope that I can adjust to getting little to no sleep (or that the baby just sleeps at all the "right" times!). I hope that I can keep my sanity. I hope I love being a mom as much as I think I will.