Today is a day I hoped would never come: we're using formula...but just to supplement, for now. I am having to let go of a lot of things I hoped for. From the way the birth happened to breastfeeding. Not all hope is completely lost but I can't afford to get my hopes up that my milk will come in.
It is very likely that my severe post partum hemorrhage is responsible for the fact that I can't successfully nurse. We met with a lactation consultant and she confirmed everything. I'm still going to try anything I can (pumping, More Milk Plus herbal supplement, flax seed, Mother's Milk herbal tea, non-alcoholic beer). I am also suppose to call my OBGYN tomorrow to get on a Rx strength medication to help get things going. We'll see though. I am trying to do "something" but not get my hopes up because at this point I think I'm pretty fragile and can't handle another let down.
All that said, when I look at our little Claire my heart swells with so much love and I know that she is worth any hardship. And her well-being is my utmost concern. Maybe I can't giver her the ideal, but I will give her my very best.