Maybe I'm not ready to let go of the comfort that a chocolate chip cookie gives me. But, I have finally gotten my butt off the couch a few times a week and have begun to move. The past 18 months of my life I have been wrapped up in the amazing/depressing rollercoaster of figuring out how to be a mom. In that time, I have somehow lost all of my muscle tone and any sort of endurance while gaining a few friends on my thighs and stomach and everywhere else. I have NEVER been this out of shape. It's been pretty easy to beat myself up about it too. Especially when I stepped on the scale. *embarrassing*
But, this self-inflicted shame has to end so that I can actually do something to improve my life. And I am having to fight every part of me that wants to jump "all in". I have (MANY times) done the extreme work out and diet before and lost a lot. However, I (as the stereotype goes) also gain it all back. I struggle with all-or-nothing mentality. Either I have to beat myself to death doing something or I refuse to do anything at all. For the past 18 months the latter has been what I've chosen, when it comes to my own health and well-being. Now, I am giving myself permission...actually commanding myself to take one step at a time...even if that means that I don't feel as accomplished at first. So....I mall walk. Three times a week for approximately 45 minutes each session. And I try to do it quickly.
I can't do the gym, but I can do the mall. You would never believe how the mall teems with life at 8:30 in the morning. I can usually spot about 10 tables full of older people, rotating in/out playing cards with their friends, then taking a break to mall-walk; mommy boot camps that function right in the middle of the mall and circulate the whole route of the mall; people coming in to get started with their 9-5 jobs. It's a fun place to be and meet people.
So that's where I'm at. My goal....to move. I need to MOVE my body! I can't help but want to jump in on one of the mommy boot camps. Maybe someday.